Practicing Self-Compassion: When Self-Love Seems Out of Reach
- Maria Sosa
- Feb 10, 2020
- 3 min read
It's that month again where we celebrate all things love. The stores covered in pink and red hearts; images of flowers, teddy bears, and chocolates dancing down each isle. For those of us who are in a romantic relationship it's another occasion to get creative with our gifts. How can we show that person we love...our love? For those of us who are single it's a reminder that we are very much NOT in a relationship. Nothing like Valentine's Day to remind us we haven't been on a date in months. Many chose to celebrate "Galentines Day" on Feb. 13th, "Single Awareness Day" on Feb. 15th or just practice a bit of self-love. But what happens when self-love seems so out of reach (this is valid for those in relationships as well)? How can we self-love when it feels forced, fake, and inauthentic?
Compassion means acknowledging another's suffering and responding with understanding and kindness. Their pain somehow becomes our pain, we feel that knot in our throat, that anxious feeling in our stomach and the overwhelming desire to help. We want to provide comfort and remind them that their mistakes and failures are part of the human experience, we seek to soothe rather than judge. Self-compassion is acting the exact same way...towards ourselves. It looks like giving ourselves grace when we notice something we don't like about ourselves or have made epic fails (which doesn't make us failures, by the way). It means choosing kindness over criticism and honoring the human experience of imperfection. It sounds like, "Hey you, yup, you, this is really tough. You are allowed to feel whatever is coming up! What do you need right now to self-soothe?"

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